A very direct, intimate and emotional video portrait of Colleen, a tormented middle-aged woman. She lives with the recovering schizophrenic Colin – a difficult relationship – and dreams about how her life could have been if, for instance, she hadn’t listened to her dominant father, hadn’t used heroin, hadn’t left the father of her children. Between underlines, this video film also makes clear just how trivial, anti-septic, exploitative, banal and superficial Big Brother is. The maker, Donigan Cumming, has not meticulously glossed over himself to make everything look smooth, ‘objective’ and anonymous. If Only I is a distressing homage to the resilience of the individual. The internationally known fine artist Donigan Cumming is active in photography, sound, videos and installations.
